Your “Let’s Get Serious, No, Wait I Just Wanna’ Hang Out, I’m Not Ready for Commitment, But I Might Get Married One Day” Guide to Online Dating Apps
by K. Leslie
Let’s face it, Fam. Online dating isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. If you’re single, want to be single, want to be un-single, or even get married at some point in the future, chances are you’re currently on a few dating apps. It’s a bit hard to admit at first, especially for some of us who experience nostalgia from time to time. I can’t help but recall countless times from my now distant past, where I could go to a grocery store, mall, party, Wu-tang concert, library, my Auntie’s house, restaurant, bar, actually anywhere, and meet someone. Crazy right?
Anyway, lucky for us, connections are still somewhat possible. But since we’re now swiping away on literally hundreds of people versus maybe a handful, it’s time we all become one with strategy. If you’re using dating apps to make a few connections of your own, whether long-term or for the occasional hook-up, here are a few thoughts on how to make the best of your experience:
Figure Out What You Want
Before you even think about downloading an app, decide what exactly you’re looking for. If you’re in the mindset of getting married within the near future, chances are Match is your best bet. But if you’re looking for something a bit more casual, and kind of just want to see where things go, you probably want to lean toward apps like Tinder or Bumble. The good thing about the last two is they are free. Also, Bumble is set up so that the woman makes the first move, which offers a refreshing alternative.
A Few Do’s and Don’ts
- Post pics of “the D” like EVER!
- Leave your profile blank.
- Respond or engage with one-word answers. (Let’s keep it real. You can do so much better than “Hey” and “wyd.”)
- Be overbearing with your beliefs or opinions (religion, politics, music tastes, whatever. Just chill).
- Wait too long to schedule a meet-up. (After trading a few messages back and forth, you’ll know if you’re interested. Don’t waste her time or yours. Just ask her out.)
- Be late for the first date.
- Be honest.
- Be responsive.
- Post pics from your travels. (Take a trip to Machu Picchu or even Savannah, GA? Post it. Trust me—travel is sexy.)
- Be a gentleman. (Even if you aren’t looking for anything long-term, you’re definitely not going to get anywhere being a jackass.)
- Meet up for coffee or something non-obligatory like ice cream on the first date. (That way if there’s no connection, you just go your separate ways. Unless you skipped all this, and went straight to Netflix and chill. Not my business. Carry on).
- Smell good. Look good. (Beard game matters.)
So, yeah that’s pretty much it. Just remember, you’re a good person. You control the apps. Don’t let the apps control you. Oh, and one last largely important thing: be safe.
- Leslie is an ATLien with undying affections for good music, good humans, good energy, and good times. This master at seeing the glass half full, quotes lines from Love Jones, often retreats to private planets, and—most notably—writes what’s real.